I Can't Live Without You
by ReginaMills96
Summary: Fourth Story in the 'It Comes With The Territory' series. A month after Lara left for Boston, Poppy is struggling to cope without her and starts to act up again. Desperate to see Lara again, Poppy makes a decision that endangers her health but will it bring Lara home? Rated T Just in case
1. Chapter 1

_Summary Extended: It's been a month since Lara left for Boston and though she won't admit it, Poppy misses her like crazy. After coming to rely on Lara, Poppy can't cope without her and her behaviour deteriorates in school and at home. Struggling for ideas on how to get her fun Auntie back, Poppy makes a decision that endangers her health in a last attempt to get Lara to return to the country._

**Chapter 1 - I can't live without you**

(Rachel's POV)

Ever since Lara had left for her new job in Boston, Poppy had been a completely different child. She'd been a complete tearaway both in school and at home and I was running out of punishments because whatever I did, she just didn't care. Her grades were at their lowest, her punctuality and attendance were shocking and her behaviour was even worse and the concept of homework was non-existent in her eyes.

Lara hadn't called Poppy since she got there and although she'd never admit it I knew Poppy was missing her... Things with Adam and I were really good and we were trying to present a united front against her but all our attempts had failed. I'd tried getting her to talk to Kim now that the pair were on better terms but Poppy dug up the hatchet they had buried and used the past to turn against Kim. She was out of control and I was at the end of my tether.

My thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock on the door, I headed to the front door and opened it before standing to the side. I'd known who it was before I'd even opened the door. Poppy hurried past me and straight upstairs to her room.

"What's she done this time?" I asked, the exhaustion clear in my voice

"About to vandalise public property" One of the policemen answered holding up an evidence bag with a can of red spray paint inside

"Thanks for bringing her home, I'll make sure it doesn't happen again" I told them

"Yeah, that's what you said last time" His voice sounded annoyed

His partner nudged him gently and he tipped his hat gently before bidding me a goodnight and returning to his car.

I closed the front door and climbed the stairs to the attic room which as always was locked. Loud music blared through the wood, which was covered in spray paint. I banged on the door loudly.

"Poppy! Open this door right now!" I shouted

She opened the door a little and looked at me.

"What do you want?" She asked the attitude clear in her voice

I walked inside not waiting for an invite and unplugged her docking station.

"Tell me what I can do to make you happy?" I asked exasperated

She rolled her eyes, it wasn't the first time we'd had a conversation about her behaviour and each time I got the same reaction.

"All I have done is love you, care for you and try to protect you but I don't know what else to do with you! You don't listen to me, your dad, your teachers, the police! So what do you want me to do Poppy?"

She didn't answer me.

"This is all because of Lara isn't it?" I asked

"No!" She snapped "I don't care that she's gone"

(Poppy's POV)

The truth couldn't be further from what I'd said, of course I cared! I wanted her back more than anything, I was sick of losing people and Lara had always been there even when I tried to get rid of her and now she was just gone. It was like she didn't even care anymore.

Rachel sighed deeply and shook her head gently before going back downstairs.

I just wished there was something I could do to get her to come back, I sunk down on my bed staring at my wallpaper on my phone. It was a picture of me smiling and Lara with her arms wrapped around me from behind. A tear rolled down my face as I remembered the day we spent at the beach all together.

I woke up the next morning with my phone still in my hand, fully dressed. I must have fallen asleep. I'd been dreaming about the first time I'd met Lara, she was a psychiatrist and I hadn't been able to get rid of her because I needed her help and she'd left when I didn't need her anymore because I was taking the medication. So if I stopped taking my tablets then I'd need her again and she'd be forced to come home... To sort me out.

A smile spread across my face, I could make her come home.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thank you Waterlooroadrachel and Guests for the first reviews! So glad you're interested in it :) xxxxx_

**I can't live without you - Chapter 2**

(Poppy's POV)

The day passed by at an unusually slow rate, maybe it was because it was the first time in weeks that I'd spent an entire day in school and in a classroom. I was normally skiving or in the cooler, but for some reason today I just couldn't be bothered. I met Rachel after school like I was supposed to do everyday. She seemed surprised to see me but didn't say anything.

When I got home I went straight to my room like I always did and laid on my bed just staring at the ceiling. I didn't feel any different so what did the pills actually do? Maybe I didn't need them anymore?

My phone started vibrating across my wooden bedside table and I picked it up, staring at the screen for a long second.

**Lara Calling...**

I pressed the accept button and put the phone to my ear.

"Hi, It's me. Lara" She said

"Hi"

"Listen, I'm sorry I haven't called. I haven't had a minute to myself, but the new unit is open and things are finally up and running. How's things at home? Are you okay?" She asked

Tears rolled down my face uncontrollably at the sound of her voice, I wiped they away furious at myself for getting this upset over her. I sniffled softly but it didn't go unnoticed by Lara.

"Poppy?" She asked softly

I put the phone down quickly before switching it off and sobbing into one of my pillows. It didn't take long for Rachel to come up.

(Rachel's POV)

I just gotten off the phone with Lara and we'd been talking about how Poppy had been the past few weeks and how she'd just been with Lara on the phone. I sat perched on her bed.

"Poppy?"

I pulled her into my arms softly and rubbed her back. It was the first time she'd been near me in weeks and I was taking advantage of it. She seemed more emotional today than she had, maybe she was just sick of playing the tough girl. She fell asleep in my arms, something that she also hadn't done for a few weeks. I tucked her in before going off to bed myself.

The next morning, Poppy was acting a bit strange but after the past few weeks I could deal with strange.

I made it to lunchtime without having hear about Poppy causing any trouble. I stood on the corridor looking out over the playground when Tom approached me.

"Rachel, have you seen Poppy today?" He asked

"Not since I dropped her off this morning why?"

"She doesn't seem herself..."

"What do you mean?"

"Listen Rach, when it happened with Josh I didn't want to make the call either but I think she needs some help" Tom said

"She's fine, A bit off colour but she's fine"s

We were interrupted by the sound of breaking glass and the fire alarm, we rushed around the corner to see Poppy repeatedly slamming the side of her hand into the already broken glass.

"You need to ring an ambulance" Tom said

"No. Lara's coming over for the weekend, I just need to get her home"

"Okay go. I sort things here"

(Lara's POV)

When I was finally back in England, I got a taxi straight to the house where I let myself in as usual and found Rachel in the kitchen, deep in thought drinking coffee. I gave her a quick hug and a smile to settle her worried face.

"Can you have a word with Poppy, she's acting strange. I think she's stopped taking her meds"

"Okay, it's okay I'll sort it" I smiled softly

Rachel seemed a little panicked and when Rachel got panicked there was normally something wrong. I headed upstairs to her room expecting to find her asleep or watching TV but her room was empty.

I approached the bathroom door which was closed and gently knocked.

"Poppy? Are you in there?" I called

I didn't get an answer just silence.

"Poppy! Open the door! Poppy!" I called, growing worried

I took a step before slamming my foot into the wood, the door shuddered but didn't open, the second time the wood cracked a little but again the door didn't open. The third and final time, the door flung open and swung back violently crashing into the towel rack.

Poppy was laid on the white tiled floor, barely awake. I rushed to her side, crouching in front of her, my hands on either side of her face.

Her eyes were glazed and it was like she was looking right through me. I could see the glistening paths on her cheeks where the tears had fallen and more continued to drip.

"Poppy how many have you taken?" I asked her, the panic setting in a little

She didn't answer me.

"Poppy!? How many?" I asked again

"All of them" she answered simply, her voice barely a whisper

All of them? There must have been at least 50/60 tablets in each bottle...

I took the vodka bottle out of her hands and dumped it on the floor behind her before spinning her round to the toilet.

"Poppy, you need to make yourself sick" I told her

She shook her head, more tears falling.

I didn't have time to waste, the more time I spent arguing with her about it, the more of the poison was being absorbed into her bloodstream. I stood behind her, leaning over, then with my left hand I held her chin, I didn't fancy any teeth marks in my hand and I didn't think she would but if she did, I could take an injection and a dressing... Her body couldn't take this.

Using my right hand, I stuck my fingers down her throat until she was forced to rid her body of the toxic ingredients that she'd ingested. She tried to fight against me but her body was exhausted and her attempts were feeble.

I rubbed her back softly as she vomited the vodka and tablet fragments into the toilet, trying to give her a little bit of comfort and let her know it was okay.

"Good girl, that's it" I soothed

When she got a brief interval, she tried to move away but, I put her right back.

"You need to stay there sweetheart" I told her just before another fountain erupted

I grabbed a blanket wrapping it around her shoulders but I could still feel the shivers coming from her. I held a glass of water close and when I was sure she'd rid her system of most of it, I handed it to her sipping it slowly.

I pulled out my phone, dialling 999 and asking for an ambulance. As soon as the realisation hit Poppy, she fought against me, weakly, sobbing as she did.

"No, please... I'm sorry..." She cried "I just wanted you to come back"

After I put the phone down, I looked at her straight in the eye, my features full of sympathy and concern.


	3. Chapter 3

**I can't live without you - Chapter 3**

(Poppy's POV)

I woke up feeling strange, my whole body felt warm and fuzzy but I felt somewhat grounded. I was still pretty groggy and drowsy. I couldn't keep my eyes open for long but I caught sight of Rachel's worried face before I drifted back to sleep.

When I woke up the second time I felt much less spaced out and Rachel was gone. Instead Lara was sat beside me looking unimpressed. I wasn't sure if I'd imagined her in the bathroom but she was really here and she didn't look happy. I pulled myself up a bit so I was sitting and Lara handed me some water which I sipped slowly as I fully got my bearings.

"Where's Rachel?" I asked

"I told her to go home and get some sleep. We need to talk" She said

I new that meant that I was in for a lecture and I guessed I kind of deserved it.

"Do you realise how dangerous what you did was? What if I hadn't come back? Rachel would have found you on the bathroom floor, probably dead..."

"I didn't think, it just happened" I said quietly

"It wouldn't of happened at all if you'd been taking your medication, they did a tox screen. What were you thinking?" She asked

I didn't say anything, I wasn't in any rush to admit the truth.

"Poppy?" She asked, her voice a little sterner

"I thought that if I needed you again... Then you'd have to come back" I said quietly, squeezing my eyes shut tightly as a tear fell

"You stopped taking your medication so I'd come back?" She asked, the shock was clear but her voice was softer now

"You didn't ring or text or email... I didn't know what else to do..." I told her my voice breaking

She moved to sit on the bed, wrapping her arms around me as I buried myself in her scent and clung on for dear life.

"You could have died. What good would that have done? Hey?" She asked

I didn't answer, just tried to contain my sobs as I melted further into her arms.

She rubbed my back softly, before pulling away and using her thumbs to wipe away my tears.

(Lara's POV)

How could I go back? That job was kind of a big deal for me, being the head psychiatrist at a brand new institution but, I had to decide what came first in my list of priorities. If me staying in Rochdale was the only thing that could keep Poppy safe then that's what I had to do. I didn't know if I could stay as the school nurse though, I missed my registrar job at Holby ED. Maybe I'd go back to that?

"Is Rachel mad at me?" She asked

I shook my head. "She's scared she's going to lose you... Poppy you have to promise me you won't do anything like this again?"

She nodded softly.

"I'm going to go and see if I can get you out of here, I think you'd benefit from your own bed" I smiled

I left the room going to reception, I signed her off as having seen a psychiatrist and spoke to her doctor who agreed with me that she was better off at home as long as she was closely monitored which I assured her she would be.

Poppy got ready in record time and we were on our way to the car in less than an hour. She stopped dead in her tracks, staring blankly across the car park.

(Poppy's POV)

It was impossible, she was gone. I closed my eyes tightly, rubbing them before looking again. It was her.

"Em!" I called "Emily!"

She didn't turn around, why was she ignoring me?

I ran across the car park and grabbed hold of her, turning her to face me.

"Em... It's me"s

She didn't recognise me... Why didn't she recognise me?

The girl looked at a woman panic stricken who came over and pushed me away.

"Get away from my daughter!" She said her voice disgusted "Holly go to the car"

Holly? No that was Emily. Why didn't she know who I was?

"No Em! Em! What have you done to her!?" I shouted

"Excuse me? Who even are you!?" The woman asked

"Poppy, come on" Lara said grabbing my arm

"No! She has Em!" I yelled

"Poppy listen to me... Emily is gone, she's dead" Lara tried to tell me

" I thought so but I've just seen her"

"That girl is not Em... Come on?"

She turned me round but I looked the other way at the girl in the car as Lara forced me to leave.s

"I'm sorry..." Lara apologised

The woman nodded understandingly and gave me a sympathetic look before she walked off to the car.

I wasn't crazy! That girl was Em! I knew my sister!


	4. Chapter 4

**I can't live without you - Chapter 4**

(Lara's POV)

I had to pretty much pull Poppy to the car while she looked over her shoulder the entire time. I put her in the car and walked around to the drivers side. I was worried that this would set her back, the girl looked like Em but it wasn't her. Emily was dead and that girl seemed to have given Poppy some hope that Em was going to come back and she wasn't. When she realised that Em was really gone, she'd crumble and I couldn't let her go back there. She seemed spooked but, happier in a way. I could see the hope in her eyes and I hated that I had to take that away from her.

"Poppy, you know that Em's gone? Don't you?" I asked

She just wouldn't listen, the small smile stayed on her face as she stayed in her hopeful little world.

I didn't know what to say to her, I hadn't seen that spark in her for a long time and it seemed wrong to take it away from her.

As soon as I pulled up outside the house she rushed inside.

"Poppy! Wait!" I called, but she'd gone

I rushed in the house behind her to find her in Rachel's arms. Then before I could say anything she blurted it out.

"Em's alive!" She said excitedly

"What?" Rachel asked, taking a step back

"No she's not" I told her softly

"Yes she is! Why are you saying that!? You were there! You saw her!" She shouted

"Poppy you need to listen to me... That wasn't Em. She is gone"

"Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about!"

I gave her a sympathetic look.

"Don't look at me like that! I'll prove it!" She shouted, rushing for the front door

I beat her there and closed the door just as she opened it. Rachel was completely in shock and still hadn't moved from the kitchen.

"Get out of my way!" She shouted "Lara!"

I wasn't moving no matter what she did.

(Poppy's POV)

"Poppy, stop it" She told me sternly, her Australian accent was stronger when she spoke with authority "Go upstairs and get some rest, you just got out of hospital. You don't need to be overdoing it"

I didn't say anything, just silently turned and went upstairs to my room. There would be a way out up there. I wasn't going to stop, I needed to find Em. I closed my bedroom door, grabbing my laptop and sitting on my bed with my legs crossed. I didn't even know what to search... I loaded google and typed in the most obvious.

**Emily Mills**

It came back with nothing but newspaper articles from the date she "died". I needed to speak to Tom or Angela, one of them had to know something...

"What you doing?" Lara asked as she reached the top of the stairs

I shut the laptop lid as fast as I could. "Nothing" I lied

She came closer and handed me a glass of water and two tablets.

"This how it's going to be? You treating me like a baby?"

"You asked for this when you decided to stop taking them..." Lara told me

"I only did that because I wanted you to come back"

"Well now I'm here, to make sure it doesn't happen again"

"What are they? They look different to my usual ones" I asked

"Sleeping tablets"

"I don't need to sleep... I don't want to" I told her

"Your body needs to rest..."

"If I take these... Tomorrow, you help me find my sister?"

Lara sighed deeply but after realising it was the only deal she was getting, nodded gently.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry haven't updated in a while, I was 18 so I've been getting tattooed and drunk and sorting banks and houses etc. Before I start uni :) xxx**

**I can't live without you - Chapter 5**

(Lara's POV)

Rachel and Adam managed to get a last minute deal on a romantic break to Australia. I'd lent them a holiday home that had been left to me by my parents, it was near the beach and peaceful. They needed to get away, Rachel needed a break. She needed time away from Poppy. Stress free.

As for Poppy... She needed to face the truth and I knew that was going to be hard for her. Rachel didn't need to watch her fall apart, she'd had enough stress to deal with. By the time Rachel got back in three weeks, I'd have Poppy back on track and away from this idea that her sister was alive.

Poppy stood at the bottom of the stairs, the suitcases were in the taxi and all that was left was to say goodbye. She hugged Adam first and then Rachel, for a minute or so.

"Be good for Lara" Rachel told her

"I will" Poppy assured her

"No late nights, eat properly, don't have take-away every night and take your meds..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah" Poppy said, sarcastically

"Poppy... Please?" Rachel said

Poppy nodded and Rachel kissed her head as the taxi beeped it's horn.

"Go on... I'll look after her" I told her

Rachel gave Poppy one last, short tight hug and the pair got in the taxi and drove away into the distance.

As soon as she shut the door, Poppy turned to face me with her arms folded.

"You made a deal. Help me find Em"

"I know where Em is... Get your shoes and your coat"

(Poppy's POV)

We didn't drive for long, before we pulled into the graveyard.

"What are we doing here? You said we were going to see Em!"

"I want to show you something"

She stopped in front of the headstone, that I knew far too well... I stopped a couple of graves away and looked her straight in the eye.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked

"You need to accept the truth. Emily is dead. She's gone. She's not coming back no matter how much you want her to."

I didn't say anything, just looked at her with disbelief and then turned walking away to the car and getting in without a single word.

I stared blankly out of the window all the way home despite Lara's attempt to talk to me and start a conversation.

When we got back I went straight upstairs and sat in the corner. I just stared out of the glass. I sat there most of the night, Lara thought I was crazy, she wasn't going to help me. I was going to have to do it myself.

About 10pm Lara brought me my meds up, I didn't care what she said. I wasn't taking them.

I'd moved to my bed but was still fully dressed. She placed the cup and tablets on my bedside table and bent down to meet my eye level.

"Come on darling, you can't go on like this" She told me

I didn't answer, I just rolled over and ignored her.

"Listen, I know it feels like I'm just being horrible but I'm doing this for your own good. I need you to trust me"

"...Why would I trust _you_?... I wish you'd never come back, you should have stayed in Boston"

She didn't reply just left me by myself, she knew I didn't mean it deep down but it still wasn't nice to hear.


End file.
